Why is that big lady crying while she eats?

Some of you may know that I created this blog after urging from a few friends and family.  It was initially a way for me to stay sane during my maternity leave, and to share stories of insanity that I experienced daily as a new mom.  It has since morphed into a diary of our lives beginning when Whit became our new roommate, and is now something I intend to eventually print and share with our children.  In keeping with it being an honest account of my feelings, I wanted to write just a bit about my emotions as we prepare to welcome another roommate into our home next week.

I recognize that I am not the first mom to feel both excited and nervous at the prospect of a huge change like this.  Excited to have the blessing of being able to watch a new child learn the world around them, and teach us so much about life and ourselves; and nervous to see how our little family of three will transform in the process.  I want Whit to know that I love him so very deeply, and that that love is not going to change once there is another rump to wipe.  And I want our baby girl to know that just because she came second doesn't mean she is second best.  

The one thing I always wanted growing up was a sibling, an older brother actually.  While my parents had this wish as well, it was not to be.  Andy and I are excruciatingly aware of the pure miracle that is being able to become pregnant.  What I want more than anything is for Whit and his baby sister to grow in love together, to respect each other, and to be steadfast supporters of one another.  In this crazy world we live in, the unconditional love of family is paramount.  I like to think Whit is already showing signs that this is his little toddler wish as well.  He talks with excitement about his baby sister coming to his house.  He enjoys going in her room and taking inventory to make sure she has what she needs.  Today he picked out a bunch of books and stuffed animals to give her from his collections, including Carl, one of his most prized stuffed animals (a crocodile we got in Australia that rarely leaves his side), and a book of numbers that he takes to bed regularly.  Seeing my son be far less selfish than me showed me that he is more prepared to handle this change than I gave him credit for.  He is a kind and loving boy who cares about others.  There will undoubtedly be plenty of fights and whining about one another as they mature, but I like to think that this character that Whit is showing is his pure nature, and that makes me incredibly proud.

Whit and I enjoyed a morning out together today, and while we were eating lunch at a restaurant, for a moment I felt as if I was on a date with the most wonderful man.  When his dessert came, he searched the table for a second spoon and gave it to me, insisting that he share his treat with me.  I got teary-eyed, and spent a great deal of the meal just staring at him and smiling (something which I would have made fun of me for if I were another patron watching).  I don't say this to brag about my son, but rather to say that I "get it."  I get what it means to be a parent.  I get what cheesy movies and Hallmark cards are about.  I get why my parents cared so much about everything I did, and why they were hurt when I was careless.  And, I guess I get what pregnancy hormones can do...this!

So, on we go toward the next chapter in our lives.  I like to think we are far more prepared this time, but I am sure there will be plenty of chaos to report on the blog in the coming months.  Thank you to those of you who check in on our family from time to time through this site.  Andy and I very much appreciate your emails.

Next post will have a baby!