Sure, he had a distinct advantage over other applicants, but I tried to be as objective as possible. When it came down to it, he was the only one that fit in the uniform.
You take the good, you take the bad.
10 years ago
Sunday, February 28, 2010
My Newest OR Staff Member
Sure, he had a distinct advantage over other applicants, but I tried to be as objective as possible. When it came down to it, he was the only one that fit in the uniform.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Things that would have been helpful to know...
1. I knew that labor would hurt, and was ready for an epidural in the parking lot, but I had no idea what that hurt would feel like. Well, it feels like cramps...on crack.
2. The day after you give birth, you will be in pain, but it won't compare to the "I just got the snot knocked out of me" pain you will feel on day 2. I had to examine myself for tire tracks because I was sure they had put me out on the expressway when I was asleep, and a bevy of semis had taken turns running me over.
3. You will think you will never walk again. In my mind, I had already picked out a stylish wheelchair and made my house ADA accessible because I was sure I would never be able to stand again, let alone put one leg in front of the other.
4. Your boobs actually CAN get even bigger. All those women who spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery simply need to breast feed. Although, that would mean they would also have to get pregnant and push a pineapple out of their privates, which would ruin their expensive tummy tuck and liposuction.
5. After 5 weeks at home, the walls literally start to move inward. Honestly. I measured our rooms, and we have already lost 235 sq. feet. At this rate, our home will be the size of an iPod just in time for me to go back to work.
6. A trip to Target by yourself can be the most luxurious event of a week. Not to buy anything exciting, mind you, simply toilet paper and shampoo.
7. There is a secret club of mothers who have taken an oath to cook yummy food for new moms. Who knew that a chicken dinner from the neighbors would bring tears to my eyes in the midst of 5 hours of sleep in two days, cracked hands from sink after sink of baby bottles and pump parts, pee- and puke-stained clothes (mine, not his), and the constant sweet sound of gassy gunfire?
8. A 4th degree tear is a big deal. No really, it is. I initially mourned the fact that I would not get to see my awesome OB for 6 weeks after having seen him every week for the past month and a half. That quickly faded and I was back to lamenting the fact that I was indeed seeing him every 1-2 weeks again because of the grand canyon that is now my lady parts.
9. Other than watching your little one start to learn the world around him, the second most awesome part about finally having a baby is that you once again can pass by someone blocking the aisle in a store without them having to move themselves, their cart, and their children.
10. We sure do love our little man...and expect him to return the favor in 50 years and change our diapers and feed us a liquid diet.
2. The day after you give birth, you will be in pain, but it won't compare to the "I just got the snot knocked out of me" pain you will feel on day 2. I had to examine myself for tire tracks because I was sure they had put me out on the expressway when I was asleep, and a bevy of semis had taken turns running me over.
3. You will think you will never walk again. In my mind, I had already picked out a stylish wheelchair and made my house ADA accessible because I was sure I would never be able to stand again, let alone put one leg in front of the other.
4. Your boobs actually CAN get even bigger. All those women who spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery simply need to breast feed. Although, that would mean they would also have to get pregnant and push a pineapple out of their privates, which would ruin their expensive tummy tuck and liposuction.
5. After 5 weeks at home, the walls literally start to move inward. Honestly. I measured our rooms, and we have already lost 235 sq. feet. At this rate, our home will be the size of an iPod just in time for me to go back to work.
6. A trip to Target by yourself can be the most luxurious event of a week. Not to buy anything exciting, mind you, simply toilet paper and shampoo.
7. There is a secret club of mothers who have taken an oath to cook yummy food for new moms. Who knew that a chicken dinner from the neighbors would bring tears to my eyes in the midst of 5 hours of sleep in two days, cracked hands from sink after sink of baby bottles and pump parts, pee- and puke-stained clothes (mine, not his), and the constant sweet sound of gassy gunfire?
8. A 4th degree tear is a big deal. No really, it is. I initially mourned the fact that I would not get to see my awesome OB for 6 weeks after having seen him every week for the past month and a half. That quickly faded and I was back to lamenting the fact that I was indeed seeing him every 1-2 weeks again because of the grand canyon that is now my lady parts.
9. Other than watching your little one start to learn the world around him, the second most awesome part about finally having a baby is that you once again can pass by someone blocking the aisle in a store without them having to move themselves, their cart, and their children.
10. We sure do love our little man...and expect him to return the favor in 50 years and change our diapers and feed us a liquid diet.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Moment with Pops
A: Hey bud, do you need a new diaper?
W: Ennnnh, uhhhhh, ennnnh.
A: If you simply used the toilet like the rest of us, you would not have to whine like this.
W: Ennh, ennh, uhhh.
A: Alright, let's have a look. Well now, that's barely anything to fuss about. Seriously?
W: Enh, uhh.
A: Ok, let's get you out of your barely soiled diaper...that I spent 17 cents on. Now, what would you like - Big Bird or Cookie Monster?
W: Enh.
A: Ok, Big Bird it is!
P.S. Our diapers have Sesame Street characters on them, hence the discussion about a giant yellow avian friend and a fuzzy blue diabetic beast.
W: Ennnnh, uhhhhh, ennnnh.
A: If you simply used the toilet like the rest of us, you would not have to whine like this.
W: Ennh, ennh, uhhh.
A: Alright, let's have a look. Well now, that's barely anything to fuss about. Seriously?
W: Enh, uhh.
A: Ok, let's get you out of your barely soiled diaper...that I spent 17 cents on. Now, what would you like - Big Bird or Cookie Monster?
W: Enh.
A: Ok, Big Bird it is!
P.S. Our diapers have Sesame Street characters on them, hence the discussion about a giant yellow avian friend and a fuzzy blue diabetic beast.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
3 P's In and Out of the Pods
Aunt Abbey, Aunt Julia, and Aunt Joy
Cousin Charlie (Abbey), Cousin Whit, and Cousin Will (Julia)
Sassy the Gassy Pachyderm
Seems as though everyone in the family is still getting used to the new sights, smells...and sounds of a new baby. Yes, poor Whit has inherited my gut. Sure, the fragrance can be off-putting at times, but it is the sound that has taken some getting used to. Soon after I shot this photo the other evening, Whit fired at will, and Lucy was so startled that she did a Jackie Chan move right out of the chair. Then yesterday when Whit finally decided to slow his roll and chill for a bit, I caught a couple minutes of shut-eye. He was so magnificently relaxed that he broke wind, and it was so loud and rhythmic that in my stupor, I thought someone was knocking at the door. Now that is a good time - springing up to run to the door, only to realize that your precious peanut had simply sounded his booty trumpet. I can't help but think this whole "I'm a baby" thing is an act - he is a grown man (probably a frat boy) in a little bitty body.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Whit's Busy Life
9:15 a.m. Reading his first piece of mail
10:30 a.m. Pondering what to do today...eat? poop? gurgle? sleep?
3:00 p.m. Giving presents to mom and dad
7:45 p.m. Retiring to his throne
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Fun with Delirium
Everyone needs time to shut down their engines, recharge their batteries, and get back to neutral. Unfortunately, as we all know, this is rarely possible for a new mom. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" they all say, as if there is nothing else that needs to be done when the little eating/pooping machine that you gaze at lovingly finally decides to close his eyes. The problem with not following this advice, however, is that you can start sounding like a maniac. Andy got up to go to the bathroom last night, and when he returned, I cautioned him to be careful to not hurt the baby...it went something like this:
J: Careful, don't lay on him!
A: What? Where is he?
J: He's here in bed!
A: What? I didn't know he was in bed with us! When did you bring him in here?
J: What?
A: When did you do that? Wait, where is he? I don't see him!
J: He's right here! (pointing to the space between our pillows) Please be careful! You're leaning on him!
A: What are you talking about?
J: Where is he?
A: Joy, I think he is in his crib. Did you bring him in here?
J: No, someone else did.
A: Ok. Goodnight.
I then rolled over and crashed again until morning. On his way to work, Andy asked me if I remembered what had happened last night, and we about peed our pants reliving it..."There's your blog," he said.
J: Careful, don't lay on him!
A: What? Where is he?
J: He's here in bed!
A: What? I didn't know he was in bed with us! When did you bring him in here?
J: What?
A: When did you do that? Wait, where is he? I don't see him!
J: He's right here! (pointing to the space between our pillows) Please be careful! You're leaning on him!
A: What are you talking about?
J: Where is he?
A: Joy, I think he is in his crib. Did you bring him in here?
J: No, someone else did.
A: Ok. Goodnight.
I then rolled over and crashed again until morning. On his way to work, Andy asked me if I remembered what had happened last night, and we about peed our pants reliving it..."There's your blog," he said.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
