Whit's First Christmas

Greeting us from under the tree this Christmas morn was the wonderful surprise that Santa had left behind his little helper! He didn't have instructions, but from what we can gather so far, his "helpful" function refers to his hunting and gathering of items from around a room and placing them in a specified container - a human Roomba if you will.

As for meal preparation, it started with bathing the turkey in the tub. (Our kitchen is being remodelled, and therefore the only place to cleanse the bird was in the bathroom. This act was then swiftly followed by one of my OCD bleach festivals.)

Then I proceeded to cut an onion while wearing my new onion goggles. Have we ruined holiday feasts for Whit? Will he now always expect a bubble bath for our butcher selection and Ali G eye-wear for vegetable preparation?

Either way, he loved Christmas, especially round two of NOODLES! Here he is driving his new train to, well, probably somewhere warm far away from Minnesota!

Meeting the Big Guy

Together with Grams and Grandpa Thomas and Becca and Evelyn, we toured Macy's Santaland today. After journeying through the elves' village, our expedition culminated in Whit's introduction to Mr. Claus in the flesh! As you can see, Whit studied him very intently, entranced by the glorious pile of fur on his face.

Then we enjoyed a yummy lunch at the Oak Room, complete with monstrous popovers. Whit was in awe of the poofy goodness and quickly polished it off.

It was wonderful to start a new tradition with dear friends and family. We are so very blessed this Christmas season.

Music to My Ears

Happiness is coming around the corner to see your son dancing to Nirvana's acoustic version of "Come As You Are." I don't think even Kurt Cobain could have kept a straight face at that sight. Hearing the voice of some stuffy mothers saying "I can't believe she let her son listen to that solemn tune," I used it as a teaching moment, pointing out that Whit should be accepting of others' differences (even if they are odd like mommy)...and then we rocked out together.

'The son, the son! Tradition!'

Ok, so we didn't sing the entire score to 'Fiddler on the Roof' for Thanksgiving, but we did introduce Whit to a very big Pieper tradition - making NOODLES! And if you think he looks happy making them, you should have seen him inhale them. This is by far his favorite food yet!

Then after the Vikings won on Sunday (thanks to Whit wearing his lucky fleece), he was all giggles...until we had to tell him that now the only way he and mommy were going to make it to Australia was in daddy's suitcase. Being the literal boy that he is, he hopped in and found a corner in which to stow away. We nestled a Camel Back of formula and some noodles nearby, and he was set for the 24-hour voyage.

Check Out Those Moves

Percentage of time I used to sway

side to side when standing in place: 0%

Percentage of time I now sway

side to side when standing in place: 90%

Percentage of time I actually have

a baby in my arms while doing so: 15%

Co-workers and the general public must think I either have to pee really bad, or I have a magnificent soundtrack playing in my head.

Rattle the Vote

All Hallow's Eve

Mr. Moose

Whit flirting with his girlfriend Ev. Notice him touching her ever so gently while he laughs at her funny joke. After this they shared a 'bottle' of chianti and talked all night.

The Pieper cousins - Charlie horse (the cute kind, not the painful kind), Whit the moose, and little pumpkin Will

So many flicks, so little time!

Who needs toys when you've got shiny colorful DVD cases? Fun for Whit to pull down one by one, even more fun for us to put back up (in alphabetical order of course - we all know I'm a little "particular" that way).

Nine months old, eighteen months in existence, three years in anticipation, always in God's plan

It's the most 'wonderfall' time of the year!

Trade-sies

Every once in a while, Andy and I find ourselves looking at our lives and comparing them to days of yore. We wouldn't change a thing, but the contrast is often laughable. Here are some of the many changes:

Then: Ralph Lauren cologne and Lacoste perfume

Now: Desitin Maximum Strength; turpentine is the only thing that can remove that odor from your hands

Then: Sleeping in until noon on a Saturday morning

Now: Staring contests at 6:30 a.m. every day while Whit chugs like a hoover out of a bathtub; the winner is always Whit

Then: Running around the house looking for lost keys or cell phones

Now: Running around the house looking for lost toy parts, checking garbage cans for lost toy parts that our human mop placed in there because it is fun to push the lid, and washing lost toy parts because when they are finally found they have grown a coat of fur

Then: Occasional leisurely jaunts to our favorite stores for new items for ourselves

Now: Special trips to the five-ring circus that is Babies R Us in order to cash in on coupons that we equate to Willy Wonka's golden ticket

Then: Looking in the rear-view mirror to check our hair

Now: Looking in the rear-view mirror to check our human sound machine and whether or not his mumbo jumbo is accompanied by a smile; despite the ominous intonation, it typically is actually a joyful salutation to the passing foliage

Then: Shooting daggers from our eyes at people who cut in front of us in a line

Now: Shooting daggers from our eyes at parents who come to drop off or pick up their kids from daycare when either they or their child has snot streaming down their face and are hacking to such a degree that I contemplate, even if just for a second, diving to the floor to cover Whit much like I would if a gunman were in the room

Then: Dancing around the house to Michael Jackson

Now: Um......dancing around the house to Michael Jackson, but with a laughing baby in our arms. That is what makes it all worth it.

Three Handsome Chaps

Cousin Charlie, Whit, and Cousin Will

Our little peanut

Double Derrieres

Summer Vacation

In July, we loaded up the roadster and went on our first family vacation! We had a wonderful time relaxing with Joy's parents and getting away from the daily grind. Tons of Joy's extended family was around, too, and it was great to introduce everyone to our little man. He smiled non-stop the whole week, flirted incessantly, and slept like a champ due to the exhaustion of his social life. Other updates: he is now sitting without the wing of an adult, consuming a wondrous array of morsels that would make a vegan blush, and crawling like daddy did in his Army days. I wasn't sure I would live long enough to see him reach a healthy 6 months free from me somehow messing him up, but here we are almost at 7! I guess I'm getting the hang of this mommy gig.

Every morning in Michigan began with Grandpa and Gramsie Thomas and us playing on the floor with Whit and Lucy. As you can see, their mutual love deepened even further.

Grandpa Bob read to Whit. Nothing like a little Dr. Seuss to give you wonderfully psychaldelic dreams before slumber.

This was taken right after David Bowie finished throwing Whit in the air and singing to him about some magic dance. It was odd, but it was David Bowie, so we pretty much let him do whatever he wanted...until he started threatening to enact goblin law and keep our 'Toby.' That was when we respectfully thanked him for his visit and told him to take his red shoes out the door.

Joy and her cousins leaping with delight to be all together again.

Sunrise on Mullett. Yes, I saw this a lot, thanks to Whit's continued enjoyment of early morning milk cocktails. There is nothing as relaxing as the gentle lapping of the water on the shore when everyone else is fast asleep. Nothing in the world is as peaceful as that, and I dearly miss it.

Aspirations

As I was in the elevator with a prisoner today at work, it occurred to me that whether you kill people or save lives, you end up in scrubs...just a different color. The best and the brightest are bonded with the deviants of society by their pajamas. Here's to hoping that Whit stays far away from orange.

Oh, the places these have been and those will go...

Happy Dada Day

Yum

Move over milk, hello bland rice! Fortunately, once Whit adjusted to porridge, I started making wonderfully yummy fresh baby slop, and he is now enjoying a "taste" of what life has to offer. (Our friends from Norway call it porridge instead of cereal, and I think it makes it sound so much more magical - as if he is eating along side the three little bears.) Bananas are his favorite so far, even though the oxidation makes the puree look like, well, you know. And, since it has been a while since I wrote, he sprouted his first tooth a week ago. The pearly white is on the bottom, and he so enjoys rubbing his bottom lip over it. So now with each new food we anxiously await his "I love it" face or his "I wish I had more strength to throw this bowl across the room" face.

Squeaky Clean Boy

"Wait a minute, what's going on, what are you doing to me?!"

"Enh, that wasn't so bad. Actually, I kinda liked it. I get tired of smelling like milk - eau du lait really doesn't snag the ladies...

...but a pensive stare and thumb-sucking captured in a moody black and white photo work like a charm."

Whirlwind Weekend in Chicago

Great Grandma Jean and Whit were finally able to give each other a long-awaited hug.


Whit was baptized by Pastor Don at Joy's childhood church. He was blessed to be surrounded by all of his grandparents and Aunt Abbey, Uncle Brad, and cousin Charlie. What this photo thankfully hides are the milk spots from his leaky bottle and the poo stain on his rump from his antibiotic-induced diarrhea. In summary, pretty much everything you dream of for a baptismal ceremony in front of the entire congregation, while dressed in a pure white outfit. Though it truly was a special day that we will always remember.

International Love

Our friends Lars, Stine, and Sophia visited this week from Norway. Here is Stine with their beautiful little girl.


Much to his joy, Whit received his first kiss...from a tall, blonde Norwegian. Begging the question: has he peaked at the age of 3 1/2 months?

"I'm ready for my close-up."

The Twins' Newest Fan

Whit attended his first Twins game today! They lost, but we all enjoyed the fantastic weather, the amazing new stadium, and some yummy Cargill beef hot dogs (from cattle that were undoubtedly fed a healthy diet of wheat midds).

Ch-ch-changes

My hair is falling out. I feel the need to share this so that friends and family who have not seen me for a while will understand why I am disturbingly starting to resemble Sinead O'Connor. And it's literally everywhere - the drain, my clothes, Whit's clothes, my pillow, the floor, the kitchen counter, my car, my desk at work...basically it is everywhere but on my head. So I'm a reasonable person, and have appreciated the propagatory significance behind most bodily changes that have gone on for the past year. But this one I have to say simply does not compute. Did ancient women use the discarded hair to knit baby blankets, or to stuff the fur from their kill to make stuffed animals? I think not. Did they need a way to feel less attractive after their belly deflated, leaving them with a gelatinous wrinkly pouch? Again, I think not. And finally, did their hair deposits function like a dog peeing on every tree on the perimeter of their yard, proclaiming their territory for their offspring? No! Alas, this battle cry for mothers will lead nowhere, and so as I sit here typing, another glorious brown lock falls before me. Goodbye my friend. Thank you for curling up for my wedding, for protecting me from the scorching sun in the summer, and for covering my ears in the midwestern winter.

D.C. or bust!

Whit left the great state of Minnesota for the first time last week. Our family travelled to D.C. to attend the retirement ceremony and party for the General for whom Andy was an aide de camp for two years. We had a fabulous time catching up with lots of old friends and showing Whit many historic sites. He undoubtedly remembers every detail we taught him.

Whit climbed up in Licoln's lap, expecting him to read him a story like mommy does. Unfortunately, Abe was stiff-lipped. (Badum-cha! Thank you ladies and gentleman, I'm here all week. Please be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses.)

"I'm just gonna sit on this pedestal and plan how I will puddle jump the Mall and conquer the Washington Monument." (And no, those are not Andy's hands blurred out in these photos. What do you think I am, an amateur?)

Me gazing lovingly at Georgey. As you can see, Martha was keeping a close eye on us, and I can't blame her. George may appear as though he is ignoring the passion between us, but I know that deep down inside, his bronze heart was yearning for me.

Andy and General Rogers at his retirement ceremony. No jokes here. Thirty years of defending our country - nothing more to say. We wish him the very best in his new endeavors.

My, what big ears you have!

So my tradition of bizarre holiday headbands has now been passed to Whit, which many of you are likely thankful for because they are far cuter on him than they are on me. He humored me in allowing me to take this photo, but really it is the least he can do after 9 wild months of incubation.

Return to Work

With my return to the grind this week, I began pondering my last few days at work in January, and what was on my mind as I tried to tie up loose ends so that the OR would function beautifully whilst I was away. In doing so, I came across my birth plan, and I thought I would share it with you all. To my surprise, it was the topic of much discussion on the L&D and post-partum units. I hope you enjoy it just as much!

1. I want enough moonshine in my epidural that I look back on labor and compare it to a sun kissed day in Bora Bora, but not so much that I forget I am trying to squeeze a honeydew melon out of my lady parts.

I want an epidural with dosing strong enough that I enjoy the birth but not so strong that I am debilitated.

2. I want my husband to make the royal proclamation to the unlucky few to whom I am exposing myself about whether our child shall be referred to as a “lady” or a “gentleman.”

I want Andy to be the one who announces the sex of the baby.

3. To increase my chances of success, I want the baby on my boob faster than you can name the redeeming qualities of Joe Biden.

I want to breastfeed ASAP, preferably within 45 minutes to 1 hour after giving birth.

4. We would appreciate your assistance in keeping our intimately involved family at a distance until we have mentally prepared for them to descend upon us like locusts.

No visitors until we say we are ready.

5. No turtlenecks.

If we have a boy, we want him circumcised.

6. Much like digging around buried power lines, “check before you prick.”

We want to discuss vaccines with the pediatrician before they are administered.

Disclaimer: We are pretty easy-going people, and I am not dumb enough to think I have the first clue about what childbirth will be like. I am open to endless possibilities every step of the way. I do better with more information rather than less, so if there is something you aren’t sure if you should tell me, please tell me. And while I understand this may be the kiss of death, I really think I may be the best patient you’ve ever had; at least I am trying for the top 5 – I hear there is a prize!

Momma and Poppa

Whit's First Man Outfit (Yes, many men wear Pooh Bear...stop asking questions.)

"Nothing comes between me and my Calvin Kleins...except a diaper...and a onesie."

Questions to Ponder

Why is formula under lock and key at the local grocery store? Is there a rampant problem of babies breaking in and raiding 'the sauce'? Do they card you when you ask for some out of the case - 'must be under 1 year of age'?

Why are UK ounces different from US ounces? I know we can't live harmoniously with one standard unit of measure, but for crying out loud, can't we at least agree on the value of an ounce?

If we can put a man on the moon, turn off the lights in our home from across the globe, and regenerate human tissue, why in the world can we not create a diaper that holds in gooey baby poop?

Our Little Ladies' Man (watch Whit's eyes)

My Newest OR Staff Member

Sure, he had a distinct advantage over other applicants, but I tried to be as objective as possible. When it came down to it, he was the only one that fit in the uniform.